Quantum Self Help: collapse of the belief function

The shops are filled with books on everything from NLP to how to become your most amazing awesome self. There are manuals and guides to get you self-actualizing like you’ve never self-actualized before.

There ought to be a disclaimer on the jacket of every self-help book, though. It should read: WARNING: This will actually work, if you’ll play along. But you’ll need to maintain the belief-space after we help you instantiate it. Otherwise… erm, good luck. You’ll need it more than you did when you picked up this book.

Belief Spaces

Yes. I just made up this term. Don’t go using it elsewhere or people will just laugh at you.
A belief space creates good shit out of nothing, much like borrowing energy from the ‘vacuum’ of space (which energy, as it turns out, always needs to be paid back, but I digress)…

The point is this:

A self-help belief space is like a giant double-slit experiment, but with your own life – instead of a bunch of harmless if schizophrenic photons. Oh, and you are the token observer. Which means you must. not. EVER. look. (Look at what, you ask? Why, at the belief space itself, dumbo).

The other thing you must not do is dismantle the apparatus. Don’t toss the guide books or give them away or re-record over those poxy self-talk scripts they made you do for yourself or take that motivational poster down off the wall cos you’re redecorating or ANYTHING. I am telling you – don’t mess with this shit.

The wave function of everything you (stupidly) chose to manifest in this way will collapse in a cataclysmic (or maybe just dull, throbbing) series of UNDOINGS.

Anti-synchrodestiny particles previously held at bay will swarm into your fragile universe, eroding everything in their path and flushing your dreams down the dunny.

Expect chain reactions of unfortunate happenings and waning health (not to mention wealth).  See everything unraveled and whisked away from your grasping fingers before you can say “wtf??!”.

It’s magic. That’s what those motivational speakers and self-help authors should’ve told you. But didn’t. OK, some of them might’ve mentioned some of this in passing. Kind of. If you read between the lines…

***

I sustained a belief space several years ago and, NATURALLY, couldn’t be arsed with it anymore once the going got good. Then a giant cosmic pin tumbled my way and burst the bubble. As the winds of fortune rushed out, I should’ve moved to seal the breach. I should’ve tried to repressurize my useful little fantasy. But the guts of it was blowing about in the shitstorm and it was strangely PRETTY and INTRUIGUING and I could only STARE at it in awe and wonder and succumb to tearing it down even further just to see what it was all made of.

I hastened the collapse of my belief function. I’ve never been able to hold together a belief-space of that size ever since. But I think this is a good thing. I’ve learned the power of intent, for which I’m grateful. But I’m also strictly interested in realities that don’t disappear just because I happen to blink.

So I’ve spent the last couple of years somewhat sucking at life, but doing my own thing. I have to say it stands up to scrutiny a lot better. There’s only one reality – I can observe it and improve on it without it blowing up in my face. Hmm… maybe I should write a book.

Nah.

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